Happily Never After
by La Mademoiselle
Summary: AU!Kingdoms, a companion series to The Tale of the Drinking Contest and the Princess and The Tale of La Principessa y el Matador.  Series of vignettes featuring PruFemPol, TurkHun, DenFem!Nor, SpainFem!Romano.  Genderbending, human names used.
1. Regret

Since people asked what Fem!Poland and Prussia's married life was like after The Tale of the Drinking Contest and the Princess, I decided to do a series of vignettes about the different couples starting with PruPol.

Companion to The Tale of the Drinking Contest and the Princess and The Tale of La Principessa y el Matador (You might want to read those first, the second one is in my Spamano anthology)

**Title:** Happily Never After 1, Regret  
**Rating:** K  
**Warnings:** Genderbended nations, slight language  
**Characters:** Germania "Sigmund", Fem!Poland "Felicyta", Prussia "Gilbert"  
**Summary:** AU!Kingdoms. Perhaps marrying your daughter to the winner of a drinking contest wasn't the greatest idea in the world  
**Pairings:** PruFemPol

**HETALIA AIN'T MINE. Fem!Poland belongs to my loverly Prusy~**

* * *

Life was good for King Sigmund IV of the Germanian Kingdom. His son was getting closer and closer to being able to take over as king, two of his children were married, the Romans were finally leaving him alone and then…

"You are such an idiot!"

Shouting. Lots of it. And in the middle of the night too. Sigmund rubbed his forehead. Was that all Felicyta and Gilbert did all day? Yell at each other?

If it was, he couldn't wait to get them packed up and sent off to live in Warsaw. Maybe his great idea hadn't been such a great idea after all… picking the man who could drink the most out of a bunch of heavy drinkers sounded like a good idea at the time, but he'd never factored in the winner's personality, his daughter's personality, or how terribly those personalities would clash when you mixed them together.

The result wasn't pretty. Oh, they'd gotten used to each other well enough to go through with the marriage, but more often than not they ended up fighting and arguing. Still... there were those times when he noticed them curled up together, doing something quiet, on those rare occasions when Felicyta was feeling affectionate (or just demanding attention).

"Wow. Good job, Gilbert, you have managed to be defeated at the hands of a Lithuanian," she remarked dryly, watching her husband come crawling back to her, covered in cuts and bruises from his fight with the Duke of Lithuania. The man had done something to insult Gilbert's honor so the Prussian challenged him to a duel…

… and lost. Great, really just great, what a winner she had married. If she combined that with his excessive drinking and the rumors about him fooling around with other women… well… let's just say the only thing keeping her from kicking him out or leaving him were her marriage vows. "Til death do us part" had never sounded so terrible. She'd even come to the point where she loved the idiot, but still… he wasn't the first man she would have picked to marry. She grumbled, grabbed the Prussian, and started dragging him back home for the healers to patch up.

She'd chew him out later.


	2. Flower

I love TurkHun, yet this is my first time writing it. Odd.

**Title:** Happily Never After 2, Flower  
**Rating:** K  
**Warnings:** Genderbended nations, slight language  
**Characters:** Turkey "Sadiq", Hungary "Elizaveta  
**Summary:** AU!Kingdoms. Elizaveta always needs to be reminded of why she married that bastard Turk  
**Pairings:** TurkHun

**Hetalia belongs to Himaruya. Fem!Poland belongs to Prusy**

* * *

When Princess Elizaveta of Germania ran off with Sadiq of Turkey, the resulting scandal spread throughout the world like wildfire. It was enough to make Sigmund consider disowning the girl, but that would have sparked an international incident and they might have taken Hungary by force. He didn't want that, so he sat by and gave the marriage his approval.

Things between those two were much better than between Felicyta and Gilbert. This isn't to say they didn't have their little spats and issues…

"For the last time, I'm not putting that thing on!" Elizaveta snapped, glaring at the sheer scraps of silk Sadiq was insisting she wear in front of his court. "I don't care how attractive you think it is. My father doesn't need any more shame brought down on his family!"

"Is this about meddling in Greece again? I said I…" she hit him over the head with her frying pan. She sometimes wondered why she put up with the bastard.

And then the man smiled at her, and kissed her cheek, and gave her a tulip.

Then she remembered… but not even that was enough to save him from her dreaded frying pan. He needed a little bit of adventure in his life, and more than a few reminders of his new marital status.

Maybe tonight she'd dress in that outfit… just for him though. That was an awfully big maybe. She entered the garden, searching until she'd found her favorite bench. It was nice to be surrounded by the beautiful flowers swaying in the breeze.

Well… as much as he pissed her off, she still loved the bastard… and at least he wasn't that idiot Prussian her sister had gotten saddled with.


	3. Opposite

Two in one day, wheee~ Let's see if I can make it three.

**Title:** Happily Never After 3, Opposite  
**Rating:** K  
**Warnings:** Genderbended nations, slight innuendo  
**Characters:** Fem!Norway "Halldora", Denmark "Mathias", Iceland "Sören", an OC (not named in the chapter)  
**Summary:** AU!Kingdoms. He was an idiot, yet she loved him for it  
**Pairings:** DenFem!Nor, hints of slight Ice!OC if you squint

**Hetalia isn't mine, the nameless OC referenced is**

* * *

Mathias, Prince of Denmark, was annoying. This could not be denied. He was loud, drank too much, smiled too much, and worst of all, he was stupid. Yet for all this, it was what Halldora considered to be most attractive about him.

They were definitely opposites in personality and that suited her just fine. It didn't come as much of a surprise to her when he proposed in a manner that was all awkwardness and, for the first time, kind of hesitant. She accepted of course and was rewarded with that big, idiotic grin of his.

Planning the wedding was a chore. He wanted big and fancy and elegant, she wanted simple and small. Compromising had tested their patience over and over again. In the end, it was not a small private ceremony, but the hall was no dripping in the grandest, most opulent decorations available. It was a day where even she couldn't help but smile.

The most entertaining moment by far had been when Mathias had plunked something into her little brother's hand and told him to go find a girl. The white-haired boy blushed crimson and stammered something and Halldora went over to tease him like the good big sister she was. He was old enough to, anyway, Mathias said with a wink. If it was possible, Sören blushed even more. He hadn't been this red since she'd sat him down and told him all about the birds and the bees.

"Hallie, I believe your brother is afraid of women," Mathias announced the next morning, cuddling up to her.

"Is he now?" she muttered, smiling ever so slightly.

"Ja, you should have seen the way he was trying to get away from that one Iberian girl what's-her-name yesterday. It reminded me of us, you know?" Halldora blinked, "They're total opposites, it was really funny to watch." She really smiled then.


End file.
